If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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