you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
