You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dignity is for republicans.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He shit in the fireplace
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
