Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
