Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
