My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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