Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
