So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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