help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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