Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
