I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
