Don't make out with my wife yet
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize