dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
