I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
