Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
