it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
