When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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