Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
