Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
MIDGETS
????
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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