I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
