So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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