Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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