Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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