I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
