I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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