You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
