i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
