It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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