I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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