I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize