Buhtt sex?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize