this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize