I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
