I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
