I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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