I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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