capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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