She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
