If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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