your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
