awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Found your dick twin last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
