So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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