i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
