i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
