I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
