Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
