friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
