i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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