HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
