after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
