She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
