oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
