youre lurking in front of me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
