He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
