Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There r osticjed everywhere
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
