Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm at about main and main street
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
